Procurement “Genius” aka April Foolishness

It did not go unnoticed by my two brothers and some readers that I officially launched CPO Rising on April Fool’s Day. I’m not sure what that indicates, but after re-reading this post, I thought I might need an excuse for today’s folly.

It’s no surprise to me that the world’s smartest men and women often toil away in obscurity before rising to an occasion. For some, that occasion is war, for others it is scientific need or the greater good, for those chosen few, it is procurement. This article is about those heroes.

Now, if someone asked me to describe Einstein in one word, I’d probably just grab the nearest encyclopedia and hurl it at them and then say – “One word? Are you kidding me? Say Einstein, it’s in your question: ‘Einstein!‘” (Sidebar: Why yes, I do collect hardbound encyclopedias, proudly. I have the annual edition of each World Book set starting with 1959 – mint condition – So I’m not really worried about my retirement.)

Now, everyone knows that in a 1905 paper, Albert Einstein postulated that light itself consists of localized particles (quanta). Einstein’s light quanta were nearly universally rejected by all physicists, including Max Planck and Niels Bohr. Everyone also knows that this idea only became universally accepted in 1919, with Robert Millikan’s detailed experiments on the photoelectric effect, and with the measurement of Compton scattering. A century later, Einstein’s musings on the topic seem quaint, childish even. At least to me.

No, I prefer to talk about Einstein’s later years, after the hype, after the Nobel, when Albert stopped being polite and started getting real, “The Real Al.” That’s right in his later years Albert dedicated his energy to improving upon his first, and in retrospect, somewhat flimsy Theory of Relativity by shining a light (get it? a light! Maybe this post is a little light-hearted after all) on procurement.  Even if they haven’t turned it onto a movie (see previous hyperlink), Einstein’s Better Theory of Relativity is simply that – a better theory. Here’s what it says:

When a (C)hief is assigned to a (P)rocurement (O)ffice, the returns are exponential!

Or to the scientist:

C=PO^²

Or to the businessman:

The CPO is Rising!

This site’s readership is very sophisticated. You get this theory. You live it! It’s why you’re here. So let’s move on to another hero.  A modern-day genius – Jack Welch!

Did you know that Jack Welch cut his teeth in procurement? You can absolutely look it up. And, if you find this to be true, please post the link in the comments section. I actually had trouble finding out much information about Welch, it sure seems like an awful lot of hubbub for one “illustrator” from Texas http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_Welch_(illustrator) – “OV-er-RAT-ed, clap clap clap-clap-clap.”

Procurement has challenged the greatest minds in history [citation needed] and will continue to do so. When Tennyson wrote in the aftermath of a bid package that came in 8% over budget, “it is better to have sourced and lost, than never to have sourced at all,” we know what he meant and we felt his pain (But really, Sir Alfred, your lotting strategies were absolutely terrible).

We applaud today’s geniuses and their courage to fight. If like me, you are “Mensa-eligible,” but way too cool to ever hang out with those nerds, come join the fight with me or better yet, go start a fight somewhere else!

To that end, we have a new partner, a co-conspirator, a brother in procurement arms – dare I say, another genius who is dedicating himself to procurement.  In a somewhat shocking revelation (at least to scientists and people who are passionate players of fantastical role-playing games), earlier this month, the so-called “Smartest Man in the World” decided to stop selling out and focus on something important. I mean how boring and trivial it must have been working on “the basic laws which govern the universe.” I was not surprised. Frankly it’s about time. Stephen, way to step it up! We welcome your voice to the discussion.

http://stephenhawking-on-procurement.blogspot.com/

April Foolishness! Now, back to work.

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